He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize