You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
