found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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