what if every blade of grass was a penis?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
