Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
