is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize