He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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