Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
