people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
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