Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
