I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
