I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize