Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
one two three fourrrrnication!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
