I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
