I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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