bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
