I didn't shave. On purpose
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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