im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
