thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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