i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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