Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
