i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
