I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
