super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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