Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize