after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
