If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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