I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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