We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
