We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
