Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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