I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
3 2 1 whiskey
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
