is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
