I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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