Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
