I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize