I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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