I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
