I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
