smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
