I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just found puke in my bra..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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