You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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