If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
