Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
