At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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