my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
