Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
