good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
