im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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