Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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