Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is not my ceiling
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
