got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I love you. Go after that dick
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize