you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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