i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
we're so committed to being not committed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
