it was like his penis was on wheels.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
