i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
