Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
