What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
