My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
