have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
