Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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