I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
