ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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