Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize