I could make wine with my vomit
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
